A Short Judgment and Long Mercy
Ever take a bite of food and immediately spit it out with “absolutely horrible!” Ever look in the mirror trying on clothes and go “NO WAY!” Daily judgments are required from not buying that hot pink shirt to not eating spoiled food. Sound judgement is a gift in all areas of our life. Nothing to disagree on here.
The Bible speaks of judgement in many contexts. The Proverbs, the prophets, Jesus, Paul, and John all speak about all types of judgments. We are told to be discerning, wise, careful, and to build our house on solid rock. We are also told to “Judge not or you too will be judged.” So what does it mean to experience or declare God’s judgement? I can only tell you what it is not and a cautionary tale of jumping to conclusions about God’s heart and plans. God quite frequently is playing the long game in our lives and spiritual journeys.
Christians often feel that infertility is the result of sin. Often unsaid but yet clearly communicated within religious circles is that infertility is your fault. A judgment for some sin, bad decision, or circumstances beyond your control. Most often we heard since we had been married before, divorced, and now married to each other, we were deserving of God’s judgment. Since divorce is a sin, the judgment was infertility.
Eventually through many prayers, the love and help from our church, friends, and families, our blended family added our youngest daughter through adoption. More to come on that in another post!
More importantly, God’s judgement turned out to be no judgement at all. While others were quite generous with their judgment, God was quite generous in mercy. It was, in fact, a great mercy. Thirteen years after our daughter’s adoption, a cardiologist discovered I had an aortic aneurysm during a routine checkup. Sudden death is the first symptom 99% of the time. In recent weeks, Senator Lindsay Graham and Grant Wahl, sports journalist, dropped dead from aortic aneurysms.
My cardiologist knew I had a daughter and expressed her shock that I had survived a pregnancy. I guess the topic never came up since this was my first visit to the cardiologist after moving across the country. She took a deep breath and told me I would have dropped dead at about the six-month point if I had been pregnant. My heart was literally pounding in my chest. I had been angry and hurt over God’s judgment of me for so long, I could barely fathom the grace that flowed over me. I cried.
Mercy triumphs over judgement (James). Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. (Jesus) Pope Francis wrote a beautiful book titled “The Name of God is Mercy”. Wrapped up in the Hebrew word Hesed is the concept of mercy along with compassion, love, and faithfulness all wrapped up in the heart of God.
We think we know the “why” of many situations we encounter. Parents are judged for their children’s behavior and choices, people are assumed to have made bad decisions when financial trouble occurs, and, Lordy, don’t even get started when there is a divorce! In reality, we really do not know much at all. Human nature seems to demand an answer to the “why” questions. I wanted an answer. I got one but it was a long wait.
Judgment is humans’ short-term game and, frankly, a lazy way of understanding life. We never know what is happening in others’ lives or the “why” of their decisions including bad ones. We certainly do not know God’s why. Only God sees the whole person—past, present, and future. Any judgment and you might just find yourself on the wrong side of God’s great mercy.
No matter where you are today, if you find yourself judging yourself or being judged by someone, please remember that mercy is God’s long-term game. The Psalmist says “Indeed, goodness and mercy will pursue me ALL the days of my life (Psalm 23:6(a) NABRE)”